How To Deal With Narcissist

How To Deal With Narcissist
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Narcissists are individuals who exhibit excessive self-love, arrogance, and a lack of empathy for others. These traits often make it difficult to communicate and interact with them, especially in personal relationships. Dealing with a narcissist can be a frustrating and stressful experience, but there are strategies that can help. In this article, we’ll discuss effective ways to handle narcissistic individuals and maintain your own emotional well-being.

Firstly, it’s important to understand the traits of a narcissistic personality. Narcissists often have an exaggerated sense of their own importance, a constant need for admiration, and a tendency to belittle others or lack empathy for their feelings. They may also be controlling, manipulative, and prone to rage when challenged or criticized. Recognizing these red flags is the first step in effectively dealing with a narcissist.

One effective strategy for dealing with a narcissist is to set clear boundaries. Narcissists often try to dominate conversations and push others into doing what they want. It’s essential to be assertive and communicate your needs clearly. Setting boundaries can involve saying “no” to unreasonable demands, limiting contact, or being firm in standing up for yourself. Communication may be difficult, but it’s crucial to remain calm, respectful, and assertive. In the following paragraphs, we will explore other strategies for dealing with narcissistic personalities.

Understanding Narcissism

What is Narcissism?

Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder have an inflated sense of self-importance and entitlement, and often exploit others for their own gain.

Narcissism is not limited to one gender or age group, and it can manifest in different ways. While some people with narcissistic traits may be highly successful and charismatic, others may struggle with relationships and personal growth.

Causes and Symptoms of Narcissism

The causes of narcissism are complex and can be influenced by a combination of genetic, environmental, and developmental factors. Researchers suggest that childhood experiences, such as overindulgence or neglect, can contribute to the development of narcissistic traits.

Common symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder include:

  • Belief in their own superiority and a need for constant admiration
  • Lack of empathy for others
  • Manipulation of others for personal gain
  • Difficulty with criticism and a tendency to react with anger or hostility
  • Jealousy and envy of others’ success or attention

Dealing with Narcissism

Dealing with a narcissistic person can be challenging, but it is possible to establish healthy boundaries and protect yourself from their manipulative behavior.

Here are some tips for dealing with a narcissist:

  1. Set clear boundaries and stick to them. Do not tolerate abusive or manipulative behavior.
  2. Avoid engaging in arguments or trying to change their behavior. Narcissists are unlikely to change and may become defensive or aggressive when confronted.
  3. Focus on your own well-being and self-care. Surround yourself with supportive people and activities that bring you joy.
  4. Consider seeking therapy or counseling to gain tools for managing challenging relationships.

Remember that dealing with a narcissistic person can be emotionally draining, and it is important to prioritize your own needs and safety.

Identifying Narcissistic Traits

A narcissistic personality disorder is a mental condition in which an individual has an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for admiration and attention, and little regard for others’ feelings or needs. Identifying narcissistic traits can be crucial in understanding and dealing with individuals who have this disorder.

Signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

  • Exaggerated sense of self-importance
  • Preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, intelligence
  • Belief that they are unique and deserving of special treatment
  • Lack of empathy
  • Envious of others or believes others are envious of them
  • Arrogant behavior or attitude

A narcissist may also show some of these other traits:

  • Difficulty maintaining relationships
  • Easily offended or angered when criticized
  • Tendency to exploit or manipulate others for personal gain
  • Excessive need for attention and admiration
  • Tendency to be competitive and try to dominate others

Identifying Narcissistic Behavior

It can be challenging to identify narcissistic behavior as it can be subtle and nuanced. However, some common behavior patterns include:

  • Talking excessively about oneself
  • Interrupting others during conversations
  • Dismissing or disregarding others’ opinions, feelings, or needs
  • Manipulating situations to get attention or meet their needs
  • Blaming others for their mistakes or shortcomings

It’s essential to recognize these signs and behavior patterns to understand what you’re dealing with when interacting with a narcissist. Identifying these traits can help you determine how to approach and communicate with them, which can help you establish more productive relationships.

Setting Boundaries

Taking Control

Setting boundaries is an essential step in dealing with a narcissist. Because narcissists have an excessive sense of entitlement, they often violate other people’s boundaries. As a result, it is important to take control of your own life and set boundaries where necessary.

Creating Limits

Creating limits is a powerful tool for setting boundaries. Setting limits means telling the narcissist what behaviors are unacceptable and what consequences will occur if those limits are crossed. It is vital to communicate these limits to the narcissist clearly, confidently, and without backing down.

Being Assertive

Being assertive is the key to setting boundaries effectively. It involves clearly stating your needs and limits and not allowing the narcissist to manipulate or invalidate them. It means being confident in your own judgment and refusing to be swayed by the narcissist’s attempts to control or demean you.

Keeping Your Distance

Sometimes, the best way to set boundaries with a narcissist is to keep your distance. This may involve limiting contact with the narcissist, avoiding situations where you are likely to encounter the narcissist, or even cutting off all communication. Remember, your mental health and well-being should always come first.

  • Take control of your own life
  • Clearly communicate your limits
  • Be assertive and confident
  • Know when to keep your distance

Communicating Effectively

1. Set Boundaries

When dealing with a narcissist, setting boundaries is essential. It will protect your mental and emotional well-being. Figure out what you are and aren’t comfortable with, and communicate it to the narcissist in a calm and clear manner. Boundaries might include not tolerating verbal abuse, not allowing them to gaslight you, and not engaging in arguments that have no end in sight.

2. Use “I” Statements

When communicating with a narcissist, try to use “I” statements over “you” statements. “I” statements help to keep the focus on your feelings and experiences, avoiding placing blame or making accusations. For example, instead of saying “you always make me feel like I’m not good enough,” try saying “I feel unsupported when you criticize me constantly.”

3. Don’t Engage in Their Game

Narcissists often thrive on drama and conflict, which means they might try to provoke an argument or fight. Don’t engage in their game. Instead, remain calm and assertive, and stick to your boundaries. If the conversation becomes too heated, disengage and remove yourself from the situation.

4. Don’t Try to Reason with Them

Narcissists often have an inflated sense of self-importance that makes them believe they know everything and are never wrong. Trying to reason with them will likely only lead to frustration and further conflict. Instead, acknowledge their opinion and then redirect the conversation to a more productive topic.

5. Seek Support

Dealing with a narcissist can be incredibly draining and challenging on your mental health. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. They can offer you a safe space and help you to navigate your emotions and set healthy boundaries.

Being Empathetic Yet Firm

Empathy towards narcissists

Dealing with a narcissist can be a challenging and emotionally taxing experience. However, it is important to remain empathetic towards them, as they often have deep-seated insecurities and feelings of inadequacy that they project onto others. Try to understand their perspective and the root of their behavior, even if you do not agree with it.

Firmness in setting boundaries

While it is important to be empathetic towards a narcissist, it is equally important to maintain firmness in setting boundaries. Narcissists often lack empathy themselves and may try to manipulate or exploit others for their own gain. You should clearly communicate your boundaries and stick to them, even if it means setting consequences for their behavior.

  • Be specific about what behaviors are unacceptable
  • Set firm consequences for violating boundaries
  • Remain consistent in enforcing boundaries

Remember, you cannot control the narcissist’s behavior, but you can control your reaction to it. By being empathetic yet firm, you can maintain your own mental and emotional health while navigating the difficult dynamic of dealing with a narcissist.

Avoiding Gaslighting

Educate Yourself

Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic used by narcissists to distort the truth and make you question your own memory, perception, and sanity. One of the best ways to avoid gaslighting is to educate yourself about it. Learn to recognize the signs, like constant lying or blaming, and understand the effects it can have on your mental health.

Trust Your Instincts

If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Trust your instincts. Narcissists will often try to make you doubt your own feelings and intuition. Don’t ignore your gut reactions and don’t let anyone else tell you how you should feel or think.

Set Boundaries

Narcissists will often try to push your boundaries and make you feel guilty for enforcing them. Be firm with your boundaries and don’t let anyone cross them. This includes standing up for yourself and saying ‘no’ when necessary. Remember, you have the right to prioritize your own well-being and happiness.

Keep a Record

Gaslighting can make you doubt your own memory and perception. Keep a record of important conversations or incidents to help you remember what was said or done. This can help you validate your own feelings and hold the narcissist accountable for their actions.

Seek Support

Dealing with a narcissist can be incredibly isolating and lonely. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist who can offer validation, guidance, and empathy. Remember, you are not alone and it’s not your fault.

  • Educate yourself about gaslighting
  • Trust your instincts
  • Set boundaries
  • Keep a record
  • Seek support

Not Falling Into Their Trap

Recognize the Red Flags

The first step in not falling into a narcissist’s trap is to recognize the red flags. Narcissists are often charming, charismatic, and likable at the beginning of a relationship. However, there are certain warning signs to watch out for such as excessive compliments, grandiose claims, and a lack of empathy. If you notice these red flags early on, it may be best to distance yourself from the individual.

Set Boundaries

Narcissists are known for pushing boundaries and violating personal space. To avoid falling into their trap, it’s important to set healthy boundaries. Be clear and concise about what is and is not acceptable in your interactions with them. Learn to say “no” and stick to your boundaries even if it may result in conflict. By doing so, you are protecting yourself and showing the narcissist that their behavior is not acceptable.

Don’t Engage in Their Games

Narcissists thrive on drama and attention. They may try to engage you in their games by provoking you or playing mind games. To avoid falling into their trap, don’t engage in their games. Stay calm and composed and don’t take the bait. Remember that their behavior is a reflection of their own insecurities and has nothing to do with you.

Seek Support

Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally draining and overwhelming. It’s important to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. Having a support system can help you navigate the situation and provide you with the emotional strength needed to avoid falling into the narcissist’s trap.

Seeking Professional Help

When to Consider Professional Help

If you’ve been struggling to manage your relationship with a narcissist, it may be time to consider seeking professional help. This is especially important if you’ve been experiencing emotional or physical abuse. Working with a therapist or counselor can provide you with the support and guidance you need to work through the challenges of your relationship, set healthy boundaries, and develop effective coping strategies.

Types of Professional Help Available

There are several types of professional help that may be beneficial in managing a relationship with a narcissist. A therapist or counselor can help you work through the emotional impact of your relationship and develop healthy coping skills. A support group can offer a safe space to share your experiences and gain support from others who are going through similar struggles.

If you’re dealing with a narcissist in a professional or personal setting, a coach or consultant who specializes in dealing with high-conflict individuals may be able to provide you with effective strategies for managing the relationship.

Choosing the Right Professional

When choosing a professional to work with, it’s important to find someone who has experience working with narcissistic individuals and the challenges they present. Look for someone who has specific training or certification in working with narcissistic personality disorder or related disorders. Ask for referrals from trusted sources, such as friends, family members, or other mental health professionals.

It’s also important to find someone who you feel comfortable and safe working with. Be sure to ask questions and discuss your goals and concerns with potential professionals before committing to working with them.


Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging and emotionally draining. Seeking professional help can provide you with the support and guidance you need to work through the challenges of your relationship and develop healthy coping strategies. Consider working with a therapist, counselor, support group, or other professional who has experience working with narcissistic individuals and can help you navigate the complexities of your relationship.

Self-Care and Self-Love

What Is Self-Care?

Self-care refers to actions and practices that an individual can take to maintain or improve their physical, mental, and emotional well-being. It involves treating oneself with kindness, respect, and compassion, and prioritizing one’s needs and desires.

Examples of self-care activities include exercise, healthy eating, getting enough rest, spending time in nature, practicing mindfulness or meditation, engaging in hobbies or creative pursuits, and seeking out social support.

Why Is Self-Care Important When Dealing With Narcissists?

Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally draining and challenging. It is essential to prioritize self-care and make it a part of one’s routine to prevent burnout and maintain one’s resilience and well-being.

Self-care can also help individuals establish healthy boundaries, build self-confidence, and increase their ability to assert themselves in challenging situations. Practicing self-care can help individuals stay grounded and centered, making it easier to navigate challenging relationships, including those with narcissists.

What Is Self-Love?

Self-love is the practice of accepting oneself as one is, with all one’s strengths and weaknesses, and treating oneself with the same compassion, kindness, and respect one would extend to a loved one. It involves cultivating a positive relationship with oneself, developing self-confidence and self-esteem, and pursuing one’s dreams and goals with passion and purpose.

Some ways to practice self-love include developing a positive self-talk, engaging in self-affirmations, treating oneself to small indulgences, celebrating one’s accomplishments, recognizing one’s worth, and cultivating an attitude of gratitude.

Why Is Self-Love Important When Dealing With Narcissists?

Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging to one’s self-worth and self-esteem. The narcissist may belittle, criticize, or invalidate one’s feelings and experiences, making it difficult to maintain a positive self-image.

Practicing self-love can help individuals develop a strong sense of self-worth and self-love, making it easier to resist the narcissist’s attempts to control and manipulate them. It can also help individuals recognize their value and worth, making it easier to set healthy boundaries and prioritize their well-being.

  • Experts say, practicing self-care and self-love is essential for maintaining one’s well-being and building resilience when dealing with narcissists. It can help individuals establish healthy boundaries, cultivate a positive self-image, and resist the narcissist’s attempts to control and manipulate them.

Dealing With Narcissistic Parents

Recognize the behavior

The first step in dealing with a narcissistic parent is recognizing their behavior. Narcissistic parents are characterized by their self-absorption, lack of empathy, and need for admiration. They may put down their children, ignore their needs, and use emotional manipulation to maintain control.

Set boundaries

Setting boundaries is important when dealing with a narcissistic parent. This could mean limiting the amount of time you spend with them or deciding which topics are off-limits for discussion. It’s important to remember that you have the right to set boundaries that protect your well-being.

Practice self-care

Dealing with a narcissistic parent can be emotionally exhausting, so it’s important to prioritize self-care. This could mean engaging in activities that bring you joy, taking breaks when you need them, and seeking therapy if necessary. Practicing self-care can help you maintain a healthy relationship with yourself and others.

Don’t engage in their behavior

One of the best ways to deal with a narcissistic parent is to avoid engaging in their behavior. This means not getting caught up in their drama, not engaging in arguments, and not trying to change them. It’s important to remember that you cannot control their behavior, but you can control your response to it.

Seek support

Dealing with a narcissistic parent can be difficult, so seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can be helpful. It’s important to have people who understand what you’re going through and can offer you emotional support. Remember, you don’t have to deal with it alone.

Coping With a Narcissistic Partner

Recognize the signs of narcissism

To better cope with a narcissistic partner, it’s important to recognize the signs of narcissism. This includes behaviors such as a grandiose sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and a constant craving for admiration.

Set boundaries and stick to them

It’s important to set boundaries with a narcissistic partner and stick to them. This means establishing clear boundaries around what behaviors are and are not acceptable, and communicating these boundaries clearly. It’s also important to establish consequences for violating these boundaries.

Find support

Dealing with a narcissistic partner can be emotionally draining, so it’s important to find support. This could include a supportive family member or friend, a therapist, or a support group for people in similar situations.

Practice self-care

Dealing with a narcissistic partner can take a toll on your emotional and physical health, so practicing self-care is important. This could include exercise, healthy eating, getting enough sleep, and treating yourself to activities that bring you joy.

Consider leaving the relationship

In some cases, leaving the relationship may be the best option for coping with a narcissistic partner. This is a difficult decision but may be necessary if the partner is unwilling or unable to change their behavior and the relationship is negatively impacting your wellbeing.

Healing From Narcissistic Abuse

Recognize the abuse

The first step in healing from narcissistic abuse is to recognize that you were, in fact, a victim of abuse. Narcissists use manipulation, gaslighting, and other tactics to control and hurt their partners. If you have been in a relationship with a narcissist, it is important to acknowledge this abuse and take steps to heal from it.

Get support

It can be difficult to heal from narcissistic abuse on your own. It is important to seek out support, whether that be from friends, family members, a therapist, or a support group. Talking to others who have been through similar experiences can be validating and empowering.

Set boundaries

Narcissists often have a difficult time respecting boundaries. To protect yourself from future abuse, it is important to set and enforce clear boundaries with the narcissist in your life. This may mean limiting contact or cutting off contact entirely.

  • Remember your own worth. Narcissists often tear down their partners’ self-esteem. It is important to remind yourself of your own worth and value, regardless of what the narcissist may say or do.
  • Practice self-care. Healing from narcissistic abuse can be a long and difficult process. It is important to take care of yourself during this time. This may mean engaging in activities that bring you joy or relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or hobbies.
  • Be patient with yourself. Healing from narcissistic abuse takes time. It is important to be patient with yourself and allow yourself to feel your emotions as they come up.

Seek professional help if needed

Seek professional help if needed

If you are struggling to heal from narcissistic abuse on your own, it may be helpful to seek professional help. A therapist can provide support and guidance as you navigate this difficult process. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help if you need it.

Moving On and Letting Go

Accepting the Reality

The first step towards moving on and letting go of a narcissist is to accept the reality of the situation. It can be difficult to come to terms with the fact that someone you loved and trusted was not who you thought they were. However, it is important to understand that the narcissist is unlikely to change and that the relationship is not healthy for you.

You may experience a range of emotions during this period, including sadness, anger, and confusion. It can be helpful to seek the support of a therapist or trusted friend to process your feelings and work through the breakup.

Cutting Ties

In order to move on from a narcissist, it is important to cut ties with them completely. This may involve blocking their phone number and social media profiles, avoiding places where you are likely to see them, and limiting contact with mutual friends or acquaintances.

It can be difficult to resist the urge to reach out to the narcissist, especially if they try to hoover you back in with promises to change or pleas for forgiveness. However, it is important to remember that their behavior is unlikely to change and that any contact with them will likely only prolong healing.

Focusing on Yourself

After leaving a narcissistic relationship, it is important to focus on your own needs and well-being. This may involve engaging in self-care activities, setting boundaries in other relationships, and working on personal goals and interests.

You may also benefit from seeking therapy or joining a support group for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Talking with others who have gone through similar experiences can be validating and empowering.

  • Examples of self-care activities:
    • Taking a relaxing bath or shower
    • Going for a walk in nature
    • Journaling or meditating
    • Getting a massage or practicing yoga
Benefits of therapy: Benefits of support groups:
  • Processing emotions in a safe space
  • Identifying patterns of behavior and thought
  • Developing coping strategies
  • Connecting with others who understand
  • Sharing experiences and advice
  • Feeling less alone in the recovery process

Remember that healing from a narcissistic relationship takes time and effort. You may experience setbacks and moments of doubt, but with patience and perseverance, you can move on and build a happier, healthier life for yourself.

Finding Support and Community

Join Support Groups

Joining a support group can be very helpful in dealing with a narcissist. These groups often include people who have lived experiences and can provide emotional support, practical advice, and a sense of community. Support groups can be found online, in person, or through therapy.

Seek Therapy

A therapist can help you understand the dynamics of your relationship with a narcissist and how it is affecting you. They can provide you with coping strategies, guidance with setting boundaries and can help you move forward from the relationship.

Surround Yourself with Healthy Relationships

Surrounding yourself with healthy relationships can help you build resilience and improve your self-esteem. Seek out people who are supportive and can provide positive feedback and encouragement.

Practice Self-Care

It’s important to take care of yourself when dealing with a narcissist. Set aside time for yourself to do things that you enjoy, such as reading, exercise or spending time with friends. Practicing mindfulness and meditation can also help reduce stress and anxiety.

Remember You Are Not Alone

It’s important to remember that you are not alone in dealing with a narcissistic person. Millions of people deal with narcissism every day. Finding support and community can help make the journey easier and remind you that you are not alone.

Questions and Answers:

What are the signs that someone is a narcissist?

There are several signs that someone is a narcissist, including an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, lack of empathy, sense of entitlement, and a tendency to exploit others for their own gain.

How do I cope with a narcissist in my personal life?

If you are dealing with a narcissist in your personal life, there are several strategies you can use to cope. These include setting boundaries, avoiding arguments, seeking support from others, and focusing on your own self-care needs.

What can I do if I work with a narcissist?

If you work with a narcissist, it can be challenging to deal with them on a daily basis. Some tips for coping with a narcissistic colleague may include staying professional and avoiding personal discussions, documenting your interactions, and seeking guidance from a supervisor or human resources department if necessary.